Crazy Driving

I realize my blogy blog is taking a bit of an awkward turn. Some of you might be scratching your head and thinking, “Hmmm…she failed one IVF and then adopted and now back to IVF…she’s nuts,” or perhaps you’re thinking, “This adoption blog has changed completely. She sucks. I’m leaving.” If that’s the case, I’m sorry…but as with life, everything changes. And with me, I’m the queen of change. I will never have a buttoned up life full of expected outcomes. I realize that and I’m really okay with it. It makes my life a lot more interesting than those folks who thrive on expectations that I know IRL.

So, as a PR person, I’m sorry for the crazy change with my blog. Please forgive this turn of events.

But, as me, I’m really not sorry for the change with my blog. I’m sorry for not being sorry.

Not sure if that makes sense…

I’m a roller-coaster and I’m okay with it. Luckily hubs is too and that’s why we actually feel really good right now. Shall I say happy? We’re in a good place. Bryce is doing great. He’s sleeping through the night (FINALLY). D-man has straight A’s and is heading to high school soon. And, I’m only 32. Why not? Let’s do this.

Unless, of course, I have diminished egg reserves. Then, no go. But I’m okay with that too. At least I’ll have answers. I hate the unknown.

Want to know what I hate the unknown? It’s because my Dad died of a massive heart attack. He knew something was wrong months before he died. He had 6 doctor’s appointments set up and he canceled every one of them because he was scared to know what was wrong with him. He was 42. Then, suddenly, he died. He could have saved his own life. But, he didn’t because of fear. I will not be that person. I want to know…and then I’ll be empowered to make decisions.

Thanks for your understanding and I hope you’ll stay with me as I swerve back and forth. But, if you don't, I totally understand. Happy weekend everyone!