I guess my last post was pretty ambitious. I didn't really capture the decision making we've been trying to take on. I didn't really capitalize on the enormity that this decision has for us. It's huge on many levels, such as financially, relationships (internally and externally), careers, etc.
And, we had a family meeting with D-man to talk with him about this huge decision. He knows how difficult it has been with Bryce. He's been here, has helped on so many levels and realizes the enormity of this decision too. He looked at us and said, "That's great! I support it."
I was worried. D-man has had his good days and bad days sharing the spotlight, but he's doing much better now. His main concern was the IVF option. He asked us to take that off the table. He didn't want to see me, as he saw me before, bitching and moaning about the shots, hormones and failure. He has a point for a 14 year old.
As we look at our other options - foster-to-adopt and domestic adoption - it's a lonely road to toe no matter what we decide. And, first things first, a home study is needed.
So, we're trying to decide if we want to go the private pay home study route or if we want to go the state pay through foster-to-adopt program home study route. Obviously, the state way takes months longer. A private home study is much faster. But, it comes at a cost. Decisions, decisions...
So, we're on our way! Stay tuned for much more... :)
And oh, by the way, this is my disclaimer as we move forward: I'm going to be sharing my honest opinions about the various options we're considering. This will be based on my experience only, and I'll apologize now if any of my comments differ from your thoughts/comments or ideas. :-)
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Congrats! We are going through the state now and everything took about a month and a half. The main part was getting through all the classes. The day after we were licensed we got the call for a day old baby and her 19 month old brother.
ReplyDeleteOf course you know with foster to adopt the placement you get may not be the placement you get to adopt. It has been an emotional rollercoaster. The one thing that has not changed is our love for the kids and the commitment we made to them. We also got the perfect placement the first time. Our kids don't have any emotional issues. That was important to us with having Levi here now.
If I am being honest, I can tell you doing foster to adopt is very stressful....from the paperwork, to the visits every month from social workers, attorneys, and agency workers, to appointments that have to be met. However, in the midst of the stress is a baby boy and baby girl that have grown so much and if they wind up leaving (after almost a year with us) we know that we have given them our best for that year and we have to trust that the "system" works.
We are considering our next placement being a straight adoption through the state. There are many reasons, but we don't feel like we can do this again. It's very emotional.(that's not the only reason) That's the part on my blog that I don't talk about.
I don't mean to be a downer...I am just being honest. I wouldn't change our experience at all. Some things you don't find out until you begin the journey.
I wish you the best in whichever route you decide to go. If you need anything I am here for you. Just know that there are so many children who need the love of a family. It's a win, win no matter which way you go.
Hey lady - thank you so much for this message. It's not a downer at all. It's important information that we'll use and I'll likely be reaching out to you off line to talk more about this. Thanks so much for reaching out! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThat's great! I'm excited to see what God has in store for you guys!
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