Approved!

We finally found out that we were approved for the attain ivf program. Now, we have to figure out how we're going to pay for it. That's another story completely.

I'm sitting at work (when I'm supposed to be working) and reading through the contract. It's 16 pages long. Talk about small print, huh? Hoping it doesn't require selling my soul to the devil or organ harvesting.

Operation ivf financing has commenced.

Parties for one year old little girls

Parties for one year old little girls aren't something I seek out. Really, lately, I can do without all of that hoopla. But, about a year ago, everyone in my neighborhood popped out babies (except for me). So that meant that the last 3 months has been packed with birthday parties...for little one year old little girls.
I went to a princess party.

I went to a beach ball themed party.

Today I went to a rock star themed birthday party.

Needless to say, I'm super-de-dooper (Barney reference) tired of baby birthday parties!

Today's was cute for all of 10 minutes. I mean, all the little girls that came were decked out in little rock star outfits. The mom of the birthday diva bought little fuzzy hats for everyone...kind of looked like Pamela Anderson hats, but whatever...and special star sun-glasses. Very chic, let me tell you. They played, screamed, laughed, ate loads of cake and unwrapped presents, discarding most of the boring ones, in a matter of minutes. All very cute; however, we were the only ones there without a little one. We just kind of looked at each other longingly as if we were nonverbally saying, "This sucks."

So we left...

I'm sure that we'll have a rocking bday party for a little one someday down the road, but right now, it just kind of hurts. It just makes me want a baby...a little one so bad. To laugh with, giggle with and enjoy - even get frustrated with. Is that too much to ask?

Deciphering Man-Text

My darling hubs received a call from our RE today. He was so excited, he called after hanging up with her. But, I was unfortunately on a conference call at work. So, he had to text message me the entire message.

Surrounded by my work colleagues while on the very important conference call with a client, I read, “Got a call from the doc. All is good. We can use salt shaker technique. We’re going to have a baby.”

Wow. Okay. Let me decipher for you.

All is good = he has high-quality, first-rate swimmers – no problem

We can use salt shaker technique = We don’t have to use ICSI…and my smart, darling husband thinks that when the eggs are in the Petri dish, that they must sprinkle his swimmers into the Petri dish using a salt-shaker. Gross, huh? That’s how he envisions it happening. It’s okay to break into laughs…he’s bit clueless about how it’s happening.

We’re going to have a baby = We may have a better chance, as long as my eggs aren’t disgusting, old and decrepit, of having a little one with the help of IVF one day. Sweet.

I’m a bit relieved and I know the hubs is too because he’d rather me be the broken, one-tubed monster instead of his manhood threatened by bad swimmers. (Thanks, babe)

Yes, I’m being a bit sarcastic, but isn’t it all just a little comical?

It IS good news from the RE today. We should know if we’re approved for the program within the week now. All paperwork is complete and has been sent in. More waiting has commenced!

Have a lovely weekend, all!

Worried

There is good news. Work and new business possibilities is picking up at my company. That's exciting news. I always love working on new business. Yay.

The bad news that makes me worry every night I try to go to bed? How the hell am I going to juggle everything...it's a running list right now:

• 60+ work week and some weekends throughout Dec. and Jan. because of new business work
• Member of a board at a local college
• Local chamber board member with responsibilities
• Tween to take care of
• Church group every Wed.
• House to keep clean
• Husband to keep happy
• And now...IVF? Appointments, Pokes, Prodes, Drugs and Hormones?

I just don't want to fail at any of this...it scares me.

I know I have to take it one day at a time. Do what I can, and miss what I have to. I know...but as a super perfectionist, doer, where the rubber meets the pavement kinda girl? It's hard.

I'm hopping my mind with be quiet...I hope I can be superwoman.

S Day Has Arrived for the Hubs

If you read my blog from yesterday, you know what the “S” stands for. Spooge. Yes, today is Spooge Day for the hubs.

As I was getting ready to leave this morning at the ungodly hour of 6 a.m. for work, I told him, “Good luck!” Whiling walking out of the room, I said, “Think of me…or Angelina Jolieee!!!” I didn’t wait around for the expression on his face. I’m sure he threw a pillow at the door cause I heard a thud.

Ha!

He’s anxious and he’s ready to get it over with. I would imagine that it’s a tough thing to do. You’re in a room, with four white walls, in a hospital setting and they tell you to spooge in a cup? Likely, not fun at all. But, it still doesn’t compare to all of the poking, prodding, weighing in, ultrasounds, fondling inside and out that we get. But, I am a little empathetic this morning for him. A little.

I am glad, however, to announce that he’s agreed to post on my blog about the whole ordeal to give the male perspective on the SA. He’s given me a couple stipulations. I can’t edit (so expect spelling errors) and he has to post it. So, hopefully he’ll get that uploaded in the next few days. I think it offers an interesting perspective, as long as it isn’t over the top. For the virgin’esque ears in the virtual room, you may need virtual earmuffs. We shall see.

In other news, I worked last night until 1 a.m. on a huge new biz opportunity. I didn’t go to bed until 1 a.m. Then, I woke up at 4 a.m. because I was working with our London office, which is 5 hours ahead. I got to the office at 6:30 a.m. I am officially exhausted. BLAH!

Cheers to another exceedingly Wacky Wednesday, with my third Starbucks in hand!

What happens when your husband reads your blog

When your husband or significant other reads your blog for the first time, I guess there are a couple of general responses.

One response might be glad. Glad that you have an outlet and a place to vent. Happy that you’re not bending his ear or throwing dishes at home.

One response may be a bit of jealously. Maybe you're spending more time blogging about IF then jumping in the sack with him. (ha!)

Another response could perhaps be anger. I guess some guys are sensitive and might not be happy about their wobbly bits and tiny tadpoles being talked about online - in front of a digital audience (cue the gasp!).

The reactions I suppose could be endless.

At lunch today, my hubs stopped by and we went out for a quick lunch. While eating, he said, “I read your last blog post.”

I stopped eating slowly and said, "Which one...the one talking about you spooging in a cup?" Yes, we use grown-up words in our home.

He said, “Yes,” with a smirk on his face.

"And?"

He said, "You're right. I'm fine and it will go fine. Everything will be fine."

(I promise he said that smiling.)

We laughed about it and moved on to other topics. I've asked him to guest blog every once in a while and I hope he does. He's such a comedian and would make you laugh. I mean, after all, instead of using the word sperm sample, we say spooge. Nuff said there, huh?

haha

So, does your husband or sig. other read your blog? If so, what does he think? Does he also have a blog?

Misadventures in patience

I wish I was better with patience. Like, I wish I was just fine and dandy with waiting for things to happen.

Sadly, I’m not.

When I want it, I want it now. Like a little three-year old about to throw a tantrum in the middle of a store to much the embarrassment of her family. That’s me.

We’re waiting to see if we’ve been approved for the Attain program right now. They are waiting for my husband to do his second SA, which should happen tomorrow unless my husband backs out. He has a lot of performance anxiety mainly because they are asking him do it in the office. For the other SA, he was allowed to do at home and then bring it into the RE's office. Not this time. Sorry, Charlie.

Every time he complains about it, I grit my teeth, cause inside I want to say – PLEASE PUT YOUR BIG BOY PANTS ON! What would men do if they had to be wanded, prodded and fondled constantly? They would punk out day one. I swear.

Anyway – lots of waiting right now. Hopefully, fingers crossed, we find out this week. I’ll keep you posted.

Hope everyone had a great holiday!

______________________________

As an update, hubby has scheduled the SA for Wed. Finally...If this ever starts, it will be a miracle. Seriously.